5 tips on — how to become a boss lady

It’s the end of March 2019 and I just realised I’ve been running Celmatique as my own business for 5 years. Looking back at this, it kinda feels surreal. But at the same time I’ve learned & experienced so much. Therefore I want to use Celmatique.com as a platform to help you out even more by sharing all this. So first up: how to become a boss lady.

Let me be clear: a boss lady is and can be a lot of things. I’m not only talking about women who are bosses at their work or career. It has a lot to do with controlling your life in general. I’m gonna focus more on the work aspect, but I just wanted to make sure I mentioned this!

Also before we dig into this, please note that all these tips come from my own experience. It might not always work or count for you. But I obviously hope it does.

Let me just put this right here: women and their emotions. Their sensitivity, but mostly the fact that they want to be liked by everyone is deep. Trust me, I. Know. The. Deal.

A little background info: my zodiac sign is a Cancer. I was born on the 21st of July. Basically it’s the most sensitive sign of all the signs out there. I act mostly to how I feel about things. I obviously use my brains as well, but if something doesn’t feel right, I listen to that.

However, listening to your gut feeling and actually acting to it is a totally different thing. When it comes to doing business, I see how many people (women in particular) struggle with simply saying no. We are pleasers. We want people to like us, we want people to say good things about us, we want to be able to do ALL of it instead of saying no to something. But guess what: this isn’t helpful at all. Sometimes saying no to someone or something is the best thing you can do for you. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t continue doing it. Even if that means you have to disappoint a lot of people. Your business is not to be mess around with.

Which brings me to the next tip:

I’m the same. I want to be a likeable person because that’s how I want others to see me. More importantly: that’s how I was raised. I come from a super loving and warm family. We all help each other out when needed. I’m aware of what people can do for you and what you can do for them. Which is why you want to be helpful, kind and thoughtful.

But when you start a business or are on the work field you have to think about how you want others to view you. So when you hear people saying things about you that don’t fit your personality or how you view yourself, you find yourself surprised, but also a little disappointed. “That’s what they think of me? How? What did I do?” It makes you wonder if others see you the same way you see yourself but most importantly, how you WANT them to view you.

Even though other people’s opinions don’t really matter, it’s a natural thing that we still feel a certain way about it. (I say this because I’ve actually went through this recently). But you know what, there it is again: not everyone is going to like you. It’s technically impossible. Every person views you from their own perspective, dealing with their own emotions. Perhaps they are having a shitty day at that time, who knows. But it’s ok. Don’t let it get to you.

With this in mind, it will also make it much easier for you to say no every once in a while (for your own benefit). That obviously doesn’t mean you have to be rude. You can gracefully, respectfully and kindly say no. But to be able to make someone or yourself happy, you sometimes need to disappoint others. That’s just the way it is. There’s no flowers without rain and there are no good times without bad times. Learn when to say no, listen to your gut feeling and know when you need someone’s help.

With that said:

When I first started with Celmatique I was terrified of doing it by myself. Background info: I almost shared my business (50/50) with someone I barely knew. Crazy, I know. What was I thinking giving away half of my brand to some dude I only met 6 weeks before that? The papers were signed. We were in the phase of setting up a contract for us two. After doing so and talking with some of the people around me who I trusted, I realised this was such a big mistake. We didn’t get along on good terms unfortunately, however I’m happy I got to save my own brand.

After that happened, I wondered: how am I going to do this now, by myself? It was scary. At that time I was 21 years old and just dropped out of college (because I wanted to pursue a career with Celmatique). Besides that set back, I was also struggling with my (long distance) relationship at that time. It was tough. But eventually with the help of 2 good old friends, my mum, my brother and even my granddad (he helped me out with taxes and stuff, he used to be in finances), we managed to set up the foundation of Celmatique. Ever since I always knew how important it is to ask for help or advice when needed.

Basically in life, in general, communication is everything. Whether it’s in a relationship, friendship or with colleges. Knowing and expressing what you want, explaining your vision, is what’s gonna bring your business or work to the next level.

Communication is also in the little, more daily things. It basically has a bit to do with being organised. I remember when I was in high school, I never understood why we always had to plan so much, schedule things, have deadlines and keep a logbook. But it’s actually VERY handy to be organised and to work like that from an early age. It makes communication much easier because you have an overview. It’s especially very handy when your team expands. If you don’t communicate well, you will lose credibility, trust and — TIME! And you know, time is money.

The last tip I’m gonna share with you: know what you want. You are the core of your business. If you don’t know what it’s about, no one else will. If you don’t know where it’s heading to, no one else will. If you don’t know why you do what you do, no one else will. And so on and so forth.

So once you know what you want (which is also something that changes over time) — make sure you express that. Sit with your team / partner / college and tell them.

But! This also counts for all the collaborations, jobs, projects you want to start and decisions you need to make. Why are you doing it and what do you want from it? Does it serve you and your business? Does it make it better, do you grow from it, does it financially help you? Does it fit your values? Always be clear about what you want.

And of course, this is not always easy. Sometimes we make mistakes or what we want changes. In that case you can always fall back on the previous tips I mentioned: you’ll get through it!